Open Post

[hypomeneo]

Ye ol' general open post. Memes, PSLs, game divergence, Fate AUs... all of it finds a home here. NSFW. PM me or hit me at Kerimeos for more plotting.

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[hypomeneo]

[Waver nods before they head off to the infirmary, the girl still cradled in Iskandar's arms. Time passes in a rush and before they know it, they're out in the hallway, Samu shooing them out and demanding his goddess eat.

It's not an unfamiliar scene. Kiputyttö is not the only one that has had to be... encouraged to have a meal.]

Two litres of coffee and a piece of chocolate is not a proper meal?

[Rhetorical question and a bit of self depreciating humor, but no, Waver, it is not.]

He's right, though - it's better we fill up. It looks to be a long day ahead and we'll all probably need the energy.

[towards_okeanos]

[The dining hall is already bustling with activity, if a bit of a morbid kind. Iskandar can't help but overhear other guests already gossiping about the accident. A murder maybe. The resort is small and secluded, but news travel fast in such places.

He's as fast in securing them a table then takes it on himself to bring the goddess a proper meal. He wants answers and for her to be able to deliver them she needs to be in a lot better shape than she's now. So no weak porridge or subsiding on leaves or fruit will do.]

I don't eat eggs!

[Kiputyttö exclaims as he sets the plate in front of her, staring in horror at the steaming pile of scrambled eggs, no less than four pieces of dark bread slathered with butter and a generous heap of small sausages. Iskandar huffs. He was trying to be polite here. And modest! That's only half the portion of what he had brought for himself.]

Well shame, girl, now you do! No wonder you're so scrawny.

[The goddess pushes the plate away.]

I am vegan, you dumb oaf!

[At first, the declaration is met with a blank stare. Then Iskandar turns to Waver for help. That means something right? He's sure it does. He even faintly remembers hearing it somewhere. Ehh... for all his good will this is what he gets? Why is she mad at him now!]

[hypomeneo]

[... more... for... them? Waver's stomach rumbles as the plate ends up right in front of him and his hands raise slightly in appeasement.]

She means she can't eat anything that comes from an animal. Which covers meat, dairy, eggs... er, honey? It's a diet a lot of people follow for either health reasons or to avoid harming and exploiting another living creature.

[Waver is quite sure that covers honey. Maybe. Bees make it so it counts, right? But he's not sure how strict she is on that.]

[towards_okeanos]

That's awful! So what can she eat then?

[He does make it sound as if he was concerned that she's starving. In a way, he is. Iskandar's unshaken belief that real food means bread, meat and olive has a tendency of colliding with the reality of modern times in most unexpected ways and a lot more often than he'd like.
The goddess just rolls her eyes at him.]

Clearly, neither of you is a god of the Underworld. Or is it only the Finnish one that's so lovely? If I weren't vegan already I'd sure as hell become one now. This everything?

[She gestures to the steaming pile of food with disgust.]

It all smells rotten to me. All food does, but I'd say a hint of mould on fruit and muesli is incomparably more tolerable than rotten eggs or meat. And I can pretend that the vegetables are just pickles, so technically rotten too.

But you're not here to discuss diet. You want to know more about that inky bastard.

[hypomeneo]

There's... granola... and fruit salad at the buffet? Fried mushrooms and tomatoes...

[Listen, he was grabbing anything that could go in a proper fry and barely glancing at the rest. Sometimes he is insufferably British. Admittedly usually around the subject of what constitutes proper afternoon tea.

Hm.

Their domains encompass war. Iskandar's much more than his, since Zhuge Liang was known his statesmanship as well as his strategy and Guan Yu was revered for his martial prowess instead. But there's no getting away from the fact that legacy of conflict marks his divinity as the scars of the battlefield have marked his soul.

So no. He can't recall any underworld god in the Far Shore having this issue as well, but that may have well just been a feature of the New Gods there. Her explanation gets a thoughtful frown. The Japanese realm of the dead governed by Izanami is said to one of decay as well, but he's never been and never wants to go.]

That's a good question. [In regards to the various pantheons' underworlds and the properties of gods thereof.] But no, we're not.

[Waver's hands cradle his coffee - black, strong.]

When did that thing first appear? I get the impression you've been dealing with it for awhile.

[towards_okeanos]

[The whole explanation makes Iskandar feel guilty as hell. He assumed she's just a spoiled brat and the real reason is something he can't even wrap his head around. To not be able to enjoy good food? What a terrible condition. It takes all the joy of being a god in the first place. He can't even imagine how he'd be able to cope with something like that. He mutters a quick sorry and leaves to bring something more appropriate. The key this time being what would taste least awful when rotten.

Meanwhile, the goddess just finished her first cup of coffee.]

I think it's two months now. You'd have to ask Samu for precise dates, my perception of time is a little wonky. This is his fourth victim but first that's not homeless or a foreigner. And first that managed to survive.