Of course it can't be taken out, it's embroidery. I worked all night to make sure it would stay in its place. I did it so that your coat would look cooler, sir.
[ but he'll put the cat down and take the bill. begrudgingly. ]
I hear that pets can choose their owners. Does this mean it chose you?
[That explains what he sensed and the poor tailor's screeching.]
!!!!!!!!
It. Did. Not. Look. COOL. Bloody hell - fish?! Why?
Don't alter my clothes in the future! Christ.
[Good, good. At least that's settled. Waver's still scowling, smoothing out the wrinkles in his slacks and grumbling under his breath. He seems to be favoring a monochromatic palette lately. Blacks, greys, and some whites. The odd purple. Nary a hint of red or gold to be seen since he arrived.]
For all I know, it's here for you and not me. [This is the start to every meme that features Dad not wanting a cat.] All I think it's choosing is to try and get a meal out of us.
I think I could totally become good at making clothes! I mean, I have a friend here that’s good at all that arts and crafts stuff, and I thought: why not do that too?
[ give him a couple days, he’ll change hobbies.
as for the cat... ]
Food and shelter are basic things that all beings need! And besides, it came right before you did, so I think it was definitely waiting for you. Maybe it even has a sixth sense and is secretly an ESP. Either way, this is definitely a sign that we should keep Noir!
[ yeah he wants the cat. named it and everything. ]
Listen, if you want to do that, that's fine. It's a good hobby to have. Just keep it to your own clothes.
[He gives it two at most...
As for the cat, who has begun pawing at Flat's leg and mewing piteously - for what? Attention, food, a better name?? - Waver sighs and places his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes at the sixth sense mention slightly... but only slightly, because animals do have a certain spiritual sensitivity and cats are particularly featured in myth for their association with the arcane.]
If you want the cat, you have to take care of the cat properly. Which means if it's a pet, you can't do research on it and you have to attend to all its needs. Which means you need to buy it food, clean up after it, and keep it healthy. That is, if this one doesn't belong to someone else already. We'll have to check.
Of course I can do it. We can't just let this cat stay out on the street, sir.
[ though flat could never be described as the type of person that loves animals, he just can't imagine kicking it out when it's already here. that would just be mean! ]
You and Gray took care of a cat before, right? [ never mind that said cat met a tragic end, but flat's certain that something like that won't happen here. there's no clock tower, there's no association... so maybe this cat can live a happy life with the two of them. though, again, it's not like flat has any experience taking care of anything other than that bizarre meat experiment he had when he was 15.
he kneels down on the floor, petting the cat's back. ]
I'll do my best, sir. You won't regret it, I promise!
[ONE LOUD, LONG, SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He's already regretting it, but maybe he too wants the cat despite it pouncing him earlier. Just a little. Not that he'll ever admit it to himself and instead blame himself for being soft and indulging Flat and this new nonsense.
He should know better. Mages and animals end in tears. Even if there's less danger here, come to think, from parties that would take advantage of such obvious weakness.]
We had a little experience, yes.
Go make sure the ani... er, Noir, doesn't belong to someone else and register it. Then get its supplies. I'll feed it in the meantime.
[...
HM.
Grumble, grumbly. GRUMBLE.]
Hopefully that Godzilla incident is cleared up when you do go to do that. What a mess trying to navigate.
not because it took a long time getting noir registered as a pet nor because it took a long time to get the stuff for the cat, but because flat checked everywhere for godzilla. or any kaiju-adjacent creature, for that matter. but the natives he talked to all gave him weird looks and everything in the town seemed...relatively fine?
when he does come back, it's with a couple bags with cat stuff, and...a coat for waver. an identical one to what he had pre...customization. ]
Professor! [ doesn't matter where waver is, he'll call out to the void ] Are you sure Godzilla was out there? Because everything looks fine. Are you sure someone didn't trick you?
Why the fuck are you comparing me to someone like Blofeld? Just because I'm on the couch and petting the cat?
[This, Waver thinks, is about to get ridiculous.]
Honestly, do you even think I have the talent to be some diabolical mastermind? Please. [LOOKING TO THE HEAVENS. Give him strength.] It's me, Flat. I just pranked you because you pranked me.
Of course I know it’s you, Professor. You got me good.
[ so he’s not.... mad about that. it seems?
unfortunately for waver, this was always ridiculous. ]
But you could have totally pulled off the mastermind thing! Just because your abilities aren’t the best doesn’t mean that you can’t be intimidating. Like when a hero finds out that their closest friend was actually the villain all along... [ he’s nodding to himself like this makes perfect sense. ] but I’d give the reveal a five out of ten! Lots of room for improvement.
I shall endeavor to exceed that measure in the future, then.
[Dry as the desert and subtly sarcastic. Waver arches a brow at Flat given that production. Not mad, sure, but he'll wait a few minutes before he judges that bit of drama good and done for.
He scratches underneath the cat's chin.]
Did you get Noir's things and deal with the registration? She's still hungry. I gave her some fish, but that does not appear to have been enough.
Um, yes! [ an eager nod. ] And I got her some food and some plates for the water and the food... and the, uh, the litter box! And the litter of course.
[ see? flat Can fulfill missions with enough motivation.
without another word, he goes to the kitchen where he drops all the bags he’s been carrying and takes out the small bag of cat food plus a food bowl. it seems that either noir Knows he has the goods or she’s just that hungry, because she jumps out of waver’s lap to start yelling. flat grins at the cat like he understands, opening the bag of food to give her a half a cup of it, to which the cat immediately goes for.
...
flat can’t help but watch the cat eat, both out of curiosity and...maybe some endearment. ]
[There's a bounded field around the basement but the thickness of the walls -- hmph, the neighbors will just have to bear with her yells like everything else. Probably small potatoes in the grand scheme of things with them around.]
Hah! She has a set of lungs on her, doesn't she? What a character.
[Then he snorts amused as she literally dives face first into the bowl, scrambling for every morsel, before licking the bowl clean.]
Looks like she's going to save us the trouble of washing it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 03:58 am (UTC)From:I have the bill here and you're covering it. No excuses! If you wreck my things, you're replacing them, with interest.
[Waving the bill in question in the air. For. EMPATHSIS.
...
... oh. yes... the cat.
The other reason why his coat was ruined. DID YOU CHARM YOUR EMBROIDERY, FLAT?!]
A menace. Which seems par for course for a feline. Don't ask me why it's followed me here. It's probably hungry.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 04:09 am (UTC)From:(he did he absolutely did) ]
Of course it can't be taken out, it's embroidery. I worked all night to make sure it would stay in its place. I did it so that your coat would look cooler, sir.
[ but he'll put the cat down and take the bill. begrudgingly. ]
I hear that pets can choose their owners. Does this mean it chose you?
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 06:17 am (UTC)From:!!!!!!!!
It. Did. Not. Look. COOL. Bloody hell - fish?! Why?
Don't alter my clothes in the future! Christ.
[Good, good. At least that's settled. Waver's still scowling, smoothing out the wrinkles in his slacks and grumbling under his breath. He seems to be favoring a monochromatic palette lately. Blacks, greys, and some whites. The odd purple. Nary a hint of red or gold to be seen since he arrived.]
For all I know, it's here for you and not me. [This is the start to every meme that features Dad not wanting a cat.] All I think it's choosing is to try and get a meal out of us.
[Squint.]
You want a cat? Is that what you're saying?
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 06:31 am (UTC)From:[ give him a couple days, he’ll change hobbies.
as for the cat... ]
Food and shelter are basic things that all beings need! And besides, it came right before you did, so I think it was definitely waiting for you. Maybe it even has a sixth sense and is secretly an ESP. Either way, this is definitely a sign that we should keep Noir!
[ yeah he wants the cat. named it and everything. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 10:56 pm (UTC)From:[He gives it two at most...
As for the cat, who has begun pawing at Flat's leg and mewing piteously - for what? Attention, food, a better name?? - Waver sighs and places his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes at the sixth sense mention slightly... but only slightly, because animals do have a certain spiritual sensitivity and cats are particularly featured in myth for their association with the arcane.]
If you want the cat, you have to take care of the cat properly. Which means if it's a pet, you can't do research on it and you have to attend to all its needs. Which means you need to buy it food, clean up after it, and keep it healthy. That is, if this one doesn't belong to someone else already. We'll have to check.
Do you really want that responsibility, Flat?
no subject
Date: 2021-04-04 11:50 pm (UTC)From:[ though flat could never be described as the type of person that loves animals, he just can't imagine kicking it out when it's already here. that would just be mean! ]
You and Gray took care of a cat before, right? [ never mind that said cat met a tragic end, but flat's certain that something like that won't happen here. there's no clock tower, there's no association... so maybe this cat can live a happy life with the two of them. though, again, it's not like flat has any experience taking care of anything other than that bizarre meat experiment he had when he was 15.
he kneels down on the floor, petting the cat's back. ]
I'll do my best, sir. You won't regret it, I promise!
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 12:09 am (UTC)From:He should know better. Mages and animals end in tears. Even if there's less danger here, come to think, from parties that would take advantage of such obvious weakness.]
We had a little experience, yes.
Go make sure the ani... er, Noir, doesn't belong to someone else and register it. Then get its supplies. I'll feed it in the meantime.
[...
HM.
Grumble, grumbly. GRUMBLE.]
Hopefully that Godzilla incident is cleared up when you do go to do that. What a mess trying to navigate.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 12:36 am (UTC)From:[ wait.
wait, wait, wait.
what did he say?! godzilla?! ]
Godzilla's out there?! Oh man, oh man, I have to go check it out! I'll be back!!!!
[ he's not even going to wait for waver. he's zooming out to find godzilla....and hopefully do stuff for noir.
but mostly for godzilla. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 12:41 am (UTC)From:Way too easy. Waver sighs, shaking his head before padding off to the kitchen to see if they have anything appropriate to feed a cat.]
April Fools.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 01:59 am (UTC)From:not because it took a long time getting noir registered as a pet nor because it took a long time to get the stuff for the cat, but because flat checked everywhere for godzilla. or any kaiju-adjacent creature, for that matter. but the natives he talked to all gave him weird looks and everything in the town seemed...relatively fine?
when he does come back, it's with a couple bags with cat stuff, and...a coat for waver. an identical one to what he had pre...customization. ]
Professor! [ doesn't matter where waver is, he'll call out to the void ] Are you sure Godzilla was out there? Because everything looks fine. Are you sure someone didn't trick you?
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 03:13 am (UTC)From:Hmmmmmmmm...
[Scratching his chin. Taking a siiiiiiiiiiiiiiip of wine.]
You mentioned it was April Fools day, right?
[WHO KNEW HE COULD JOKE?]
1/idk man
Date: 2021-04-05 03:31 am (UTC)From:[ give him a moment ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 03:31 am (UTC)From:[ he's buffering. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 03:32 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 03:33 am (UTC)From:done
Date: 2021-04-05 03:34 am (UTC)From:1/2
Date: 2021-04-05 03:49 am (UTC)From:(He is, but Zhuge Liang isn't out to play right now.)]
2/2
Date: 2021-04-05 03:52 am (UTC)From:[Shaking his head. Please, child, please... give him a little more credit.
... or question his mental health. Well, actually, that should have been done ages ago, but...]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 04:10 am (UTC)From:or kiara. wasn't she a therapist? ]
What kind of reveal was that!? It's like a villain from a spy movie!
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 04:58 am (UTC)From:[This, Waver thinks, is about to get ridiculous.]
Honestly, do you even think I have the talent to be some diabolical mastermind? Please. [LOOKING TO THE HEAVENS. Give him strength.] It's me, Flat. I just pranked you because you pranked me.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 05:19 am (UTC)From:[ so he’s not.... mad about that. it seems?
unfortunately for waver, this was always ridiculous. ]
But you could have totally pulled off the mastermind thing! Just because your abilities aren’t the best doesn’t mean that you can’t be intimidating. Like when a hero finds out that their closest friend was actually the villain all along... [ he’s nodding to himself like this makes perfect sense. ] but I’d give the reveal a five out of ten! Lots of room for improvement.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 06:00 am (UTC)From:[Dry as the desert and subtly sarcastic. Waver arches a brow at Flat given that production. Not mad, sure, but he'll wait a few minutes before he judges that bit of drama good and done for.
He scratches underneath the cat's chin.]
Did you get Noir's things and deal with the registration? She's still hungry. I gave her some fish, but that does not appear to have been enough.
[Yes, apparently the cat's a lady.]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-05 02:34 pm (UTC)From:[ see? flat Can fulfill missions with enough motivation.
without another word, he goes to the kitchen where he drops all the bags he’s been carrying and takes out the small bag of cat food plus a food bowl. it seems that either noir Knows he has the goods or she’s just that hungry, because she jumps out of waver’s lap to start yelling. flat grins at the cat like he understands, opening the bag of food to give her a half a cup of it, to which the cat immediately goes for.
...
flat can’t help but watch the cat eat, both out of curiosity and...maybe some endearment. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-04-10 05:41 am (UTC)From:[There's a bounded field around the basement but the thickness of the walls -- hmph, the neighbors will just have to bear with her yells like everything else. Probably small potatoes in the grand scheme of things with them around.]
Hah! She has a set of lungs on her, doesn't she? What a character.
[Then he snorts amused as she literally dives face first into the bowl, scrambling for every morsel, before licking the bowl clean.]
Looks like she's going to save us the trouble of washing it.
no subject
Date: 2021-04-15 02:38 am (UTC)From:[ and because he fucked up waver's jacket, BUT WHO'S KEEPING TRACK..... ]
Though isn't it weird that there even are cats in the first place?
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